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Victoria Johnson:

Victoria Johnson transformed her Body, Mind and Spirit releasing over 65 pounds of body fat and overcoming anorexia and bulimia on her way to complete spiritual deliverance.

I was born in the segregated parts of the Deep South, one of eleven children. My brothers, sisters and I worked in the fields picking whatever crops were in season, while my father traveled north for months at a time earning a living as a farm worker. Representatives from farms would visit our community and load pick-up trucks with men, driving them throughout the country to what they promised was the land of opportunity. Once the harvest was complete, some of the men would pool their earnings and buy a used car to take them back home; the men who could not afford the trip home would stay on indefinitely. It was always a relief to see my father walking down the road home safe again.

It was close quarters living in our small dirt-floor shanty. When Mama would yell, “Come on kids, we’re having fish fry!” all twelve of us would huddle around a hole in the ground. We’d collect wood, build a fire and deep-fry some fish one of my brothers had caught in the river. While us little kids thought these fish fries were fun, the older ones knew this meant we were out of grocery money for the week.

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Despite our financial poverty, our parents loved us deeply, and whenever we had money, family meals were a time of comfort and joy. When the crops were good, we’d feast on ham, biscuits with butter, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet-potato pie and fried okra. We’d sit around the table for hours, talking and laughing. These special times felt like abundance to me and I began to associate food with comfort.

When I was five, my parents relocated the family "up North" permanently so that my father could find more work and us children would have a chance at a good education in nonsegregated schools. I’ll never forget the first day. As I peered into the classroom window, I was so nervous I felt sick. Here I was, one of four black children in the entire school, staring into a sea of faces, with not one person looking like me. Not one! The teacher tried to reassure me: ?It’s okay, Victoria. We’re all the same, no matter what color our skin is.?

Yet I wasn’t seeing color. I was seeing little legs—pair after pair of skinny little legs. And my legs didn’t look like that! Mine were big and round and they rubbed together when I walked. The teacher continued to try to coax me into the room. “They are just like you,” she said. I wanted to scream, They’re not like me! I have thighs and they don’t! As I took my seat, which felt snug against my body, I realized for the first time in my life that I was different: I was big.

Despite every attempt to lose weight and be accepted by the other kids, I never outgrew my baby fat. By the time I reached high school, I was obsessed with food and dieting. As soon as I got up in the morning I’d think, What’s for breakfast? The last bite of Mama’s homemade biscuits and butter had me thinking about what she packed me for lunch.

By the time I went to college, one of my friends had taught me a handy technique for keeping weight off—throwing up. I spent a good portion of my college years hunched over a toilet and trying to hide my habit, out of shame. Yet despite throwing up, I still managed to gain the freshman fifteen1—and then some. Instead of paying attention to the signals my body was sending me—low energy, depression and headaches—I’d reach for a candy-bar pick-me-up or a jolt of soda with lots of caffeine.

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